Marriage: Intimates or Inmates?  PART 1

Introduction

Apart from knowing God, marriage is the most significant relationship we can experience. But never has the institution of marriage been more threatened by external and internal problems than it is today. It is challenged from without by a culture which promotes an independent spirit, minimizes the responsibility of complete commitment, and offers divorce as an increasingly common and acceptable alternative. It is challenged from within by manipulation, unforgiveness, and a lack of communication.

As children of God, we need not settle for lackluster relationships where marriage partners feel more like inmates than intimates. When we believe and obey God's precepts and principles, our marriages can become increasingly fulfilling and meaningful as the years go by. In this booklet, we will look at these scriptural principles to see how we can enrich our lives through marital relationships that are characterized by commitment and communion.

Purpose of Marriage

According to Scripture, marriage was not invented by man, but instituted by God. It was divinely designed not only to be the basic building block of society, but also to provide an earthly analogy of spiritual truth. Marriage is a lifetime covenant of mutual commitment between a man and a woman which leads to oneness on every level: spirit, soul, and body. This communion and intimacy between marriage partners is designed to reflect the image of God and provide the context for a lasting relationship of love and respect. This relationship in turn is the foundation for the privilege of reproduction and the God-given responsibility of physical, psychological, and spiritual nurturing of children.

This is a high calling, and it is unattainable apart from conscious dependence upon the grace and power of God. It may seem safer to settle for less, but in doing so, we will miss out on the fulfillment God intended for us and end up in mediocrity. People do not accomplish more than they set out to attempt. No one plans to have a humdrum marriage, but without the right objectives, a couple will gradually drift into one. It is always tempting to concentrate on things rather than relationships, places rather than people, and the material rather than the spiritual.

If we want the joy of a marriage that grows into an incarnation of God's design, we must set goals that are consistent with God's purpose for marriage and implement these goals by walking in the power of the Spirit and not in the flesh.

·         Write out the God-designed purpose for marriage.

·         Reflect for a few moments on your marriage … is it directed toward those purposes? Is there discernible, positive progress?

·         As you begin to study, write out a prayer of commitment to learn, grow, and change in your marriage relationship.

PRINCIPLE: Marriage is a reflection of a personal covenant relationship between two people.

Principles from Scripture

Genesis 1-2

Genesis 1 describes the creation of the universe and climaxes with the creation of man. Genesis 2 concentrates on the creation of man and climaxes with the institution of marriage. The first chapter portrays God as powerful (the name Elohim is used of God as the creator); the second chapter portrays God as personal (the name Yahweh is used of God as the covenant-keeper).

Study chapters 1 and 2 and list several contrasts between them:

Genesis 1:26-27 states that male and female together constitute the image of God. "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Gen. 1:27). It is the Lord who created the masculine and the feminine and endowed them with different characteristics so that each expresses something different about God. In a healthy marriage, these personality differences must be acknowledged and accepted. There are exceptions, but the male is more likely to be realistic, logical, and holistic in his thinking, while the female is more likely to be idealistic, intuitive, and detailed in her thinking. In general, men are more conscious of a need for achievement and significance, while women desire affection and security. When these differences are accepted by both partners, they become complimentary rather than competitive. The result is that the total becomes greater than the sum of the parts.

·         Genesis 1:26-27 states that male and female are created in the image of God. What do you think this means?

·         How does this affect your sense of self-worth? (Read Ps. 139: 13-16.)

·         Accepting yourself sets you free to accept your partner. What truth in Genesis 1:27 helps you in the acceptance of your mate? (See also 1 Pet. 3:7.)

PRINCIPLE: The image of God is best expressed in the combination of male and female.

PRINCIPLE: The God-designed difference between male and female are to be accepted as complementary, not competitive.

Genesis 1:28-30 describes the divine mandate to the man and the woman: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it" (vs. 28). God's first command was to reproduce and have dominion over the earth. From the beginning, God made marriage and the family central to His creative and redemptive purposes.